The second phone call should have been enough to warn me. He screamed into the phone, F**K YOU!!!
Silence. From both of us. Then I hung up. I walked over to the couch and sat down. I thought about this guy I had just met, a few days ago. It was obvious he had some issues. Some kind of freakish anger that obviously came out accidentally. You don't say that kind of thing to a stranger.
We had met earlier that week at the state fair. We exchanged numbers and talked about going out that weekend. The night we met, when we both got home we immediately got on the phone and talked for hours. The phone bill was horrible. So now, it was thursday night. We had known each other for two days. We talked a little, then the outburst. I think it had to do with something about me saying I can't do last minute plans, I have a kid, you have to let me know ahead of time so I can make arrangements. That's what did it. He screamed it into the phone.
So I sat there on the couch and thought about it. Well, that's a red flag if I ever did see one. But what on earth...why the anger... what on earth did he have going on in his head?
And so it began. I started to fall in love. From that moment on.
I had already turned my ringer off. After hanging up on him. But now I looked at the phone and knew it was ringing. I picked it up and said "hello" without even hearing a ring. He was there. He was apologizing profusely. I told him it was ok, I understood. The truth is, I didn't, but I wanted to. I was fascinated.
We got together the next night.
I'm making myself write this, because it's something I swore I'd never do. All this happened a decade ago. I'm 37 now and faring just fine. All things considered, looking back, it wasn't all that bad. Just bad for me, in light of my own very limited frame of worldly reference. It broke me. Anyway, to someone else, all of this might have been nothing. Trivial. Piece of cake. But not for me. I come from somewhat of a sheltered upbringing. I am a Christian, and I was then, too. That's what messes with my head so much about all of this. But that's another story.
I hope you enjoy reading my mess. I don't know how it's going to go. I don't know how deep I can get with it and how honest. We'll see. All I'm doing here is telling it like it was.
